Your centerpiece has bling, your napkin rings have bling—wait, is there such a thing as too much bling? Probably not, which is why you love dining sets like the aptly named Glamour dining set. Detailed with crocodile embossing (your second favorite thing after bling), it’s the perfect complement to your strict rule that all meals are cocktail attire. Including breakfast. You dedicate an entire course to signature cocktails, and speaking of, you have the whole meal catered but hide the evidence so everyone thinks you cooked.
Your table is more likely to be covered in juice rings and mac ‘n cheese spills than flowers and fine china—in fact, you haven’t worried about a centerpiece since the wedding. Low maintenance is the name of your game, which is why you opt for the simple good looks of the Claire dining set. Doubling as a homework desk, the fanciest meal this table has seen is a crock pot roast, and you long for the days when you can actually sit down and read your Martha Stewart Living magazines. Until then, you’ll gladly fulfill your duties as the family CEO, CFO, and Chief Boo-Boo Kisser.
Anything named after your favorite jewelry store is fine by you, which is why the ultra-chic Tiffany pub set calls your name. Just big enough to serve the essentials—wine, cheese, and cake pops—it fits perfectly in your apartment with just enough room for your three best friends. You get all your recipes from Pinterest (even if most of them are fails), but you know the playlist is far more important than the menu anyway. Dinner conversation consists of picking your favorite real housewife, unless of course there is a season of The Bachelor currently airing.
You firmly believe that everything can and should be grilled, so you take your entertaining outside with the Primera fire pit set—after all, any table that comes with fire is a major plus. Your friends know there is a standing invite for happy hour at your place, and your most crucial party accessory is a beer tub filled to capacity. Your dinner philosophy is the more the merrier, so you keep an extra freezer stocked with steaks and burgers ready to throw on the grill. You have season tickets to the Heat, and special dinners consist of fish caught fresh from your own boat.
The kids have gone to college, and you’ve recently flocked to the warmer climates of Florida. You need a laidback style like the Jaden dining set to match your new laidback life, and you often stroll in after a day of golf and dine in your polo shirts. Dinner topics consist of politics and who is breaking the HOA codes, and while you’re currently seeking new hobbies, you know you’re far too hip to take up knitting just yet. Oh, and you just got an iPad, but you’re waiting for the kids to come home for winter break to teach you how to use it.
You need a high end table to match your high end food tastes, like the gorgeous and unique Barnsley dining set. Even though you could easily win an episode of Chopped, you prefer to cook solely for your very exclusive guest list—and will ban those who dare to ask for ketchup or salt. You knew kale was a thing before Whole Foods did, and you’re already over it. Your Instagram account is filled with molecular gastronomy pics, followed by your perfectly accessorized outfits and home. Your friends might call you a perfectionist, but hey, you happen to take that as a compliment.
Even though you’re rarely in town and almost never cook, you need a sleek set like the Tocara dining set so you don’t have to eat your Chinese takeout standing up. You don’t have a Pinterest account, and you think floral centerpieces are only acceptable at wedding receptions. Barely. You have definitely picked sides in the Gwyneth versus Martha battle, and it’s team Gwyneth all the way. On the rare occasion you do entertain, your guest list resembles the cast of a modern Melrose Place, and kids and fried food are most definitely not invited.
Your mom is so proud that you finally own a dining set, and you think the multi-colored Parkwood dining set gives your place a super cool vibe. Guests are strongly encouraged to BYOB, and while the menu usually consists of pizza, you’re willing to make your signature spaghetti and meatballs for the right lady. You don’t own a single linen napkin, or paper napkins for that matter—isn’t that what paper towels are for? Using real dishes is a luxury, and forget dinner music or conversation, because all you care about is hearing the game.
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